Kid Nothing and the Never Ending Naked Nightmare
by auroramcchickenatmcdonalds
Summary: Agata has a "pressing question" for Tsubaki. Which would have been fine if the Sket Dan hadn't witnessed him "asking" it. Yaoi, mentioned BossunxHimeko, unintentional voyeurism. Title comes from Gym Class Heroes, and I need a life.


Sojiro Agata was happy.

He had finally managed to get Sasuke Tsubaki, the cutest boy in school and his student council VP, into bed with him. They were at Tsubaki's place, in a room he shared with his twin brother, Yusuke Fujisaki, known by the school as "Bossun."

Their story read like a sitcom. They were twins separated at birth, adopted by two separate people, who met by chance at the mall. Dr. Tsubaki and Akane Fujisaki decided to move in together, so the two boys could know their only true family. The two were comically mismatched, Sasuke far too serious for his own good, while Yusuke was always goofing around with the Sket Dan. This story has never been done before, especially not in a 90s sitcom starring Tia and Tamera Mowry.

The student council meeting had not been going well. After Mimori tried to solve their problems by throwing money at them, Michiru nearly turned everyone blind with his sparkling. Apparently he had recently seen Twilight, and asked Dante to lend him some glitter. Apparently his new word for Michiru in that… language of his was now "Glitter tits." Daisy had turned her cries for Michiru to stop going all Edward Cullen on them into bizarre acronyms, and "DIAF" had turned up most often. Tsubaki had wanted to ban all nonstandard uniforms, including Switch's sweater vest, his brother's hat, and he'd even considered shaving Himeko's head! Bossun was usually pretty docile, but he'd be furious if anyone tried to shave his girlfriend's head.

Suddenly, he had an idea. Everyone around school had said the uptight boy needed to get laid. While he'd definitely had thoughts in that vein (mostly while he was asleep, except for that one time in the shower) he never expected to do anything about it. But if Tsubaki was actually going to do something that would ruin his relationship with his brother, someone needed to step in, and it might as well be him.

Besides, Switch already seemed to know about his predicament, even though he was 99% sure he'd never told anyone, and as he'd said before in a series of text messages (Seriously, how did he get his number?) the younger boy was what was known as a "tsundere," and apparently tsunderes always bottomed. Also, he seemed to be under the impression that since his lust target was more serious in nature, he'd be extra kinky, which he kind of hoped was true. He'd even been kind enough to come up with some strategies. He reminded himself not to mess with the silent boy. Switch was just way too creepy for him to deal with.

He'd asked Sasuke if he could come over, because he had a "pressing question" that needed an answer. He'd agreed, and was surprisingly accepting when he'd been shoved against a wall and kissed. They were currently making out, Sasuke in Sojiro's lap, his legs wrapped around his waist, but the president knew he wanted more. Desperate for more contact, he ripped his subordinate's tie and shirt off, before doing the same to himself. Given that his underling was now kissing his chest without being prompted to do so, this must have been a good thing.

They quickly disposed of the rest of their clothes, groped and traded awkward hand jobs before moving to the bed so he could start his preparation. How was Tsubaki so warm inside? Jokes aside, he'd expected the tightness, but his dick was getting jealous, and Tsubaki's little squeals of pleasure were not helping.

He had been crouched over him, about ready to go in when he'd been stopped. "Not like this." This had been the first time he's spoken since the beginning, sighs and "yeses" notwithstanding. "Get on your back."

He reluctantly agreed, only to be amazed when the younger had climbed on top of him and had started sinking down. He'd finally reached the bottom when…

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey, Sa, are you in there? Can we watch a movie in here?" He hated the Sket Dan sometimes. And did Bossun just call his brother "Sa?" That was actually kind of cute!

"Use the TV in the living room, Yu!" He would have referred to this as being adorable if that boy hadn't been sitting on his erection.

"Mom's already using it. Come on, I bet you're just studying." The door opened, and a collective gasp was heard. They could tell what was being studied at this point in time.

**Amazing. He actually followed my instructions. Apparently my knowledge of yaoi was vaster than I thought.**

"What the hell, Switch? Are they seriously having sex because you told them to? Are there no depths to which you won't sink?"

"Thanks a lot, Switch. Now I have the image of my twin brother and the school council president burned into my retinas for the rest of my life."

**You were the one who wanted to come in here for a movie so you could cuddle with Himeko. Never mind that my house has a better TV system.**

"Your room also smells like old cheese. I just wish I could have learned about my brother liking boys in a different way, because apparently I'm not important enough to tell."

"I was working on it! Now Yu, Onizuka, Usui, get out. Seriously, do not run into me in the school hallways for the next week unless you have a death wish." They ran away from the man who had managed to scare the retorts out of them while being impaled by his superior.

"We shall continue this at a later date. I'm not through with you yet. I'd also appreciate you not telling anyone about the names. Fujisaki insisted on them." Tsubaki had moved to get off, but Sojiro put his hands on his thighs so he couldn't. And why was he laughing? Seriously, that "ka ka ka" laugh was starting to creep him out a little.

"Are you seriously calling your brother Fujisaki? That's just going to make this more fun for me. Seeing you tell those guys off with me buried inside you only makes me want you more. Come on, you're totally used to it now."

The younger boy rose up again, but this time he came back down.

Meanwhile, in the living room, the members of the Sket Dan were having a collective breakdown while desperately telling Akane not to go into the bedroom if she valued her life.

"The horror! I was afraid I might die!" _Yeah, because Tsubaki would have killed you_, Himeko thought to herself.

"So… filthy…" _Wow, it's like she's torn between being disturbed and upset that she didn't get a better look_. Switch may have sounded calm on the inside, and his face certainly looked that way, but his computer betrayed that.

**Danger danger danger danger room contents are hazardous to your health don't go in unless you want to die oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo **He continued in this way until Bossun physically removed his hand from the keyboard.

"So, you forgot to clean your room again, Yusuke? Well, you'll just have to deal with it later. Sasuke has a friend over, after all."

_Yeah, because friends definitely attempt to _summon the devil_ when there's a chance that a sibling could come in and be scarred for life. We really should have gone to Switch's after all. The cheese smell isn't even bad. _"We'll be going to Switch's, then. We probably won't be back for dinner. See you later mom!" Bossun bolted from the apartment, not even bothering with his shoes. The other two quickly said their goodbyes and followed him, carrying three pairs of shoes between the two of them.

"Come to think of it, Himeko and Switch are over here all the time, but this is the first time Sasuke's brought anyone from the student council over since we moved in together. Maybe I should ask them what they want for dinner!" Akane made her way over to the closed door leading to the twins' bedroom and gently rapped on the door. "Hey, boys, I was wondering what you wanted for dinner. Any suggestions?"

Agata wondered how exactly he was supposed to think of food when he had something better on his hands and knees in front of him.

"How about sausage? There should still be some in the fridge, unless Yusuke ate it all." Oh, Tsubaki was asking for it now. He started a brutal pace, and Tsubaki pushed back into it with a smirk on his face. _Just as planned._

"I wish I hadn't heard that," Akane said to herself, having heard the sounds. There were some things she did not need to know about, and that was one. _So that's why they were so desperate to leave. Good thing that Rumi is out with her friends today. I just wish that I could have found out about this in a different way. Well, as long as they're being safe, I guess it's fine._ _At least there's a chance Sasuke will be happier after this._

* * *

I am such a loser. Why did this plot bunny get into my head? I know this ship has its fans, and I couldn't resist Bossun/Himeko, just like everyone else who watches this show. I had just seen a Sister, Sister rerun before writing this, hence the slight AU. I know I'm showing my age by knowing about that show, but whatever.

Should I do a sequel? These characters are just great, and they have a lot of potential. If I did, I would probably put in some Michiru/Daisy, because I like them, too. I like the idea of the ladies' man falling for the one girl who doesn't fall for his act, like everyone else on the planet. And maybe Switch/Momoka? He could use something good in his life, and I know she likes him. And it would definitely be Saaya's turn to be traumatized.

Well, it'll only happen if you ask. Thanks for reading!

~Aurora


End file.
